You mean he takes his girlfriend into his filthy sex dungeon with his Percocets to have sex!?
One time I took three marijuanas and my head exploded. And here I am today!– Cambot (via slurpenstein)
The "P" word
Straggly radiation hair
You like that boys? Give it an hour and see what...
Me: *burp* Dan: Well, it’s better than the other end.
Jason is in town.
Brdy: It looks like your thigh tattoo is melting off. Jason: Well lately it’s been a high traffic area.
That kid beat the shit outta me!
She's Disgusted with him! I appreciate that...
The guy has a dumb face.
Brdy: What’s wrong with his face? Dan: I dunno! It’s dumb!
You had steak for dinner and now some scene boy...
The wet season is approaching. It's my favorite...
Watching a documentary on drugs.
Dan: How much would you let a creepy old dude suck your dick for money? Marsh: Like… At least a million dollars. Dan: FUCK OFF! I’m talking like 60 bucks.
Mccoy highschool was preps Hat high was for stoners And cresent heights was for retards.
I just about popped my eyes out!
“I was using one of those Neti pot things, and it says not to squeeze the bottle because it could cause a lot of pressure behind your eyes… But I squeezed it and my eyes just about popped out.”
My girlfriend pops my back zits! That's real love!
Brdy was discussing what real love is and if someone loves me they will look past how gross I am.
Slug around with your slug glands... and eat...
Whats with islands? Get more land! Whats with...
orangevag4lyfe: My .gif got me hooked on tumblr. now I blog more than she, this finally makes me the cool one right? I get to see her today <3 I also gymed so hard. I need to nap, after OPA. My slimy ass sister publicly sent nudes to Hunter Moore VIA twitter with my brothers address attached for a shirt? What a slug. I wish she would do things that we could be proud of. >:/ AHAHAHAH. I...
Alot of what Mariah does sounds like a bag of mud being dropped down rig stairs.
Feedin' slime to the boys and it feels stupendous!
Baby Zachy comes to visit.
ZB: “I had a greasy shit this morning. Then I had greasy farts all day. It rubbed and chafed my ass. I chafed my asshole.” Marsh: “Is it a yeast infection? Does it itch?”
Nexopia has been very good to me.– my sister, frequent spotlight recipient (via slurpenstein) I drink too much and say stupid things…
Nobody fists me without my consent! Who do you think you are‽ I am!– me, to my sister’s ex-boy, after throwing him out (via slurpenstein) You wouldn’t believe the week I just had.
You sound like an Amsterdam whore... and if it was...
Shin Chan, boys, and Dan the man.
Me: I want some Bastard juice! Dan: Kevin will be here soon.
He's got a case of the gloomies.
Droppin' some knowledge on you son!
“What time does the eclipse start? Because I keep looking at the sun and my eyes are starting to hurt.”
Jason: Everytime I sleep over here I wake up in the middle of the night on chat roulette with some dude jerkin’ it to me sleeping. It’s all thanks to Dan.
His boogers look like giant fetus's
shit my sister says
m: are you going to see the avengers?
m: is it because you have a crush on thor like the other girls on tumblr?
s: yeah, and captain america!
m: what about hawkeye?
s: him too!
m: lol he's like a poor man's daniel craig
Yeah! Pee out your bum like a girl!